


How Batman Found Out All His Kids Are Gay

by deadrobins97



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: F/F, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:34:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27016600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadrobins97/pseuds/deadrobins97
Summary: how inspite of Batman being the world's greatest detective, he did not know that all his children are very much gay
Relationships: Stephanie Brown/Cassandra Cain, Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent
Comments: 3
Kudos: 107





	How Batman Found Out All His Kids Are Gay

After a long mission of fighting aliens and getting into more messes than anything else, both the justice league and the teen titans were exhausted. The moment they landed into base, most set out to sleep, the youngest of the group were more set on showering, god only knows what kind of space stuff they were covered in.

“Hey, robin, can I borrow some of your clothes? Mine are all dirty” asks Kon after coming out of the shower with only a towel on him.

“Sure, yeah there’s some stuff on my room, if you can find anything that fits you” replied Tim who was still covered in three day old space gunk but was apparently more interested in whatever he was playing on his phone and seemed to not care at all about the half-naked half kryptonian close to him.

“You say that like you haven’t stolen most of my shirts” Kon answers while getting back to the main hall and into Tim’s room here in the base.

“What can I say, they’re huge and they’re comfortable, I don’t ask for much” the other teen answers in normal voice knowing Kon can still hear him all the same.

In the same room, Batman is writing the report and finishing any details with several of the ONG’s and international governments they’re working in. He’s the only adult in the room as he always insists on doing the reports and such the moment they land onto earth.

In this moment Kon walks back into the big room and sits on a chair with the round table between him and Tim who is still on his phone and still covered in space gunk.

“You gonna take a shower man?” Kon asks while setting both his elbows on the table and looking at Tim.

“Maybe later, I gotta finish this game with Cass right now, she’s kicking my ass”

“Watcha playing?”

“Fruit ninja” Tim answers after settling back and putting his nasty boots on the clean table

A couple of minutes pass with both teens on their phones, Kon watching cat tiktoks and Tim still playing, Batman’s keyboard clicking can hardly be heard on the room.

“Hey, Tim” Kon asks as his phone turns off with dead battery “can I ask you something?”

“Sure man, what’s up?” Tim still on his phone and Bruce is still on the computer

“Yeah, ah, just wanted to ask why was this in your room?” Kon shows him a small rainbow pin on his hand, Tim finally looks up from his phone to look at it and then looks back at his game.

“A rainbow pin?” he asks while continuing his game on the phone “because I’m gay Conner, I thought you knew?”

The keyboard clicking stops but the teens barely notice it. Bruce is having an internal conversation at this point, HE didn’t know that and this is his SON, how did he not know this? Did Tim not trust him with these types of conversations? Was he so emotionally unavailable to his children that they didn’t trust him with something this important? And it’s not that he was homophobe or any of the sorts, Jason have come out as bisexual years ago, sure he didn’t say it like that he just brought one of his boyfriends once for dinner and just said ‘I’m bi and now I’m gone’ after dinner just right before leaving; Wayne Enterprises have also done many donations to LGBTQ+ centers all over the city and the world along with creating some new ones in the very same city, so he didn’t know what to think.

“Yeah Kon I’m pretty fucking gay, I had no idea you didn’t know?” the space gunk on Tim’s boots is starting to get into the table, it smells pretty bad, but that doesn’t stop the conversation.

“Well, what about Steph though? Does she know?” Kon is now laying back on his chair too, still with the pin in his hand.

“Oh yeah, she was the first one that told me ‘Tim, that’s pretty gay of you’ and yeah, we both kinda came to that conclusion after a while, she’s pretty fucking cool to he honest” Bruce still hasn’t gone back to the report “And I mean, she’s also pretty gay herself anyways”

Hold on, what.

Just how many of his kids were gay and did not tell him.

Now he just feels terrible.

“Really?” a small nod is what Tim gives him as a confirmation, he’s still playing on his phone “How do you know? Did she just tell you or what?”

“Oh well kinda, I mean, she’s now asking me for advice on how to take Cass out on a date, so yeah you know?”

His precious daughter, his absolute favorite child (don’t let the others know but also Bruce is pretty sure they already know) apparently cannot trust him on this either? What kind of father is he?

“Oh okay” Tim’s side of the table is now covered in space gunk and he stills smells terrible, Kon is silent for a couple of minutes and then looks back at Tim again “so you know how I’m bi right?”

“Yeah pretty sure last time we went out you were hitting on the waiter, so yeah I know” Tim is still playing that game but now he seems to be hitting the screen harder as if that would get him a better score.

“Yeah so” the silence is covered by Tim’s phone and Kon takes a deep breath before asking “So, you wanna go out?”

“Sure, lemme text Cassie and Bart and we’ll go to that pizza place near here” Tim replies as if he isn’t still covered in space gunk and smelling absolutely horrible

“No, I mean like” Kon takes another deep breath and continues “like, with me, like on a date, just the two of us”

Suddenly Tim’s phone falls to the ground and he quickly picks it up only to turn to look at Conner with the tips of his ears turning red.

“For real? You mean like an actual date?” for the first time since this conversation started Tim is actually looking at him and not at his phone

“Yeah, to be honest, I wanted to ask you out for a while but I didn’t know if you were gay and you had your thing with Steph so, yeah” Kon is now blushing and sending a small smile the other teen’ way.

“Oh, ah, yeah sure, yeah, that would be” Tim’s ears are now fully red and he’s trying to hold back a smile and failing terribly “pretty cool, yeah”

“Okay”

“Okay”

None of the teens say anything and still haven’t noticed Bruce having a silent mental breakdown behind them. Tim’s going on date, a date with an alien.

He doesn’t have a problem with Tim dating anyone, god, that’s pretty much how he got to meet Stephanie anyways but the problem is now ‘the talk’.

Bruce does NOT wanna give the talk, especially with alien anatomy, does Conner know? Has Clark given him ‘the talk’? judging by the man’s boy-scout attitude, probably not. But that’s not his responsibility is it?

Is it?

I mean if Conner is now gonna date his son, SHOULD he give him the alien talk? Bruce is pretty sure he still has that ‘alien STD’s’ PowerPoint presentation he did back when Dick was dating Kory, hopefully with both being sun-powered aliens the anatomy doesn’t change much but he still has to do an update on that.

Oh god, he is going to have to give the talk to both of them now isn’t it?

Oh god, he does not wanna do that again.

I mean, he’s never given Tim ‘the talk’ because Jack already did that when he was alive and back when Tim had his first girlfriend Ariana, so Bruce thankfully hasn’t have to deal with that since Jason was 13 and even then not much because being a boy that grew up on the streets he learned things before the time was right.

The teens in the room are still talking but now they have one’s hand over the others and just now realize that Bruce was in the same room with them.

“Oh, hey Mr. Wayne” Kon quickly takes his hand back and looks a little afraid at Bruce and well if the man himself feels a little bit good about that that’s his business “Didn’t see you there”

“Conner, Tim” Bruce is now looking straight at Tim, who is back in his phone and the table is now covered almost completely in space gunk “You have anything you wanna tell me?”

“Uh, like? About the mission? Uh, everything went fine, we’re all back and the universe didn’t explode so, other than that not really?” Tim still playing on his phone and now has a frown on his face, still pressing his fingers too hard into the screen.

“Not about that, something more, maybe, personal?” Kon is now looking at Tim, he has no idea what is going on right now between these two.

“Uh like what? Is it about the weird rash I got on my leg? I already told Alfred about it and he’s getting me some creams so don’t worry about it”

“No, I mean” now Bruce takes a deep breath “about you being gay, I mean”

“Hold on” Tim looks up at Bruce, who still in full Batman outfit except for the cowl, his face is just sweaty and his black makeup almost all over his face “you didn’t know?”

“Well, I mean, I don’t remember you ever telling me, I thought you would trust me enough for that, even if not as a father at least as family” Kon is never gonna ever say it out loud, but Batman looks so much like a father right this very second

“Bruce, what the fuck” Tim replies as he puts his phone on the gunk-covered table “are you being serious right now? Like you didn’t know?” at Bruce’s lack of answer other than a heavy silence he continues “you literally saw me grow up from kid to semi-functional adult”

“You’re 17” Kon says just to be a little shit

“Whatever” Tim still looking straight at Bruce “You saw me grow from awkward teen in neon green thighs to leader of my own team, you’re the world’s greatest detective and you never once figured out I like guys?”

“Well, I, I just” Never has the Batman, the legend of the dark knight of Gotham city sounded this awkward.

“B, I literally did a mission in drag once, what the fuck”

“We’ve all done strange things for a mission or two”

“Yeah but not full Drag Race” Tim doesn’t even sound mad, just amused “Did you really not know B?”

“I, I suppose I haven’t been paying that much attention, I guess I just always expected you to come to me and that you trusted me with these things”

“Well, shit now I feel bad” Tim replies, sighs and then continues “You know it’s not because I don’t trust you, cause I do, I trust you with my life and it’s not either because I think you’re a homophobe or whatever, it’s just because it’s really not a big deal to me and I know that no one in the family would make it a big deal either; I trust you enough to know that wherever I told you or not it wouldn’t change anything B.” 

For Kon, this very scene before his eyes hasn’t really changed how he looks at Batman and for the normal onlooker it would look as if the man himself has barely changed anything on his face, but for Tim, who grew up with the man himself, he can read very easily that this is the closest he’s ever seen the man himself close to tears.

“So yeah, it’s not that deep B, I’m gay and I’m going on a date with Kon here, okay? Just so you know, cause you know I’m not asking for permission here”

“You’re still a minor” Bruce comments knowing the teen does not care much for his answer anyways

“An emancipated one! So” Tim finally gets of the chair and takes one of Kon’s hands “right now we gotta go, Bart just texted that gar and Jaime are fighting over bugs and it looks like Jaime is winning, we gotta see that”

“You’re not gonna take a shower dude?” Kon asks, because Tim is still covered in space gunk and the smell its only getting worse by the passing time.

“Nah, I’m good let’s go” he answers as they both go down the hall hand in hand.

Bruce sits back down on his chair and goes back to the report but his mind is somewhere else, thinking of the kids he’s raised (with a little help from Alfred of course) and thinks he didn’t do much of a bad job after all.

**Author's Note:**

> just a quick idea that wouldn't leave my head, hope yall like it!


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